day one: self-portrait

tacky? maybe : )

why did "portrait" have to land on a no-washing-hair day??

{see prior entry if you're confused about this post. or just see prior entry anyway, if you didn't know I posted.}

thirty days of photos

I know I haven't proven successful at putting up weekly pregno pictures, or at blogging at all, really... there is so much that I want to say and catch up on, that I feel overwhelmed and just never do.

also adding to my lethargy is that the third trimester rolled into town a few weeks ago, bringing with it my good friends "fatigue" and "sleeplessness." Hello, friends. Wait, no! We are not friends at all! I do not enjoy being exhausted from running a couple of simple errands, or my back beginning to ache by 2 in the afternoon...my cue to stop any further activity for the day. Or how about dying to crawl into bed by 8 p.m. at night, only to discover I can't sleep very well anyways? Mercy, the next two months are going to be good times, I can tell : )

But here are the highlights of my current gestational state:

* baby continues to grow & develop without a single known hitch or snafu! Every appointment (every two weeks now, which goes by lightning fast) reveals a beautiful, strong and steady heartbeat, a belly that's growing right on target, a smiling doctor that tells me everything is perfect...and I learned today that baby is head down, right where he should be. (Doi, my bladder could have told you that. A skull pressing down on it constantly is a very distinct sensation!)

* little man is having lots of house parties in my tummy. elbow here, foot there...it's an all-out game of twister, and my visceral organs are the gameboard. But I can tell he is interacting with me... I don't even have to be resting my hand very hard on my bump, absentmindedly, and he'll respond with a nudge or kick. It's super cute! Painful when it's directed at my ribs, but the kiddo is running out of space, so I'll let it slide...

*approximately sixty-five meager days left until we meet our little guy! I've said it all along, and I'll keep saying it...this whole thing is going by so insanely fast. Before I even know it, I'm going to know my boy's face and see his eyes, and tiny fingers&toes. I'm so excited! But also really loving the downtime I've got for now, and the chance to get some things in order before his arrival.

So anyway, that's just a few updates. I'm really running out of room in my abdomen, and can't imagine continuing to grow for two whole months yet. They say it's not only possible, but will happen. Our birthing classes start up this coming monday, so that'll just be another "holey moley, this is really happening" kind of situation.

In my heart, I've got lots going on. I'm on the outskirts of understanding the all-consuming love a mother has for her child, but I get glimpses of it here and there. I can't wait for that moment I meet my child, and it hits me in its entirety.

Jon is on the road quite a bit for work, and I'm busy trying to find new diggs for us (have to move within the next month...praying that God paves the way for us into the home he wants us in, on the street that he wants us on). In day-to-day life, He is teaching me so much about patience and resting in his love. My personal life, and married life has been pretty tumultuous the past year...to put it mildly.

In the wake of everything we are going through, I've come to know and understand God's grace more than I ever have in my whole life. That isn't hyperbole, it is the truth, and my very life & breath. My faith in God is growing from being just a facet of my life...something that I can use to describe me, to being the core of my life. The amazing foundation that everything else about my life branches off of...without God, I am and have nothing!

The outward situations going on in our lives appear a little uncertain at the moment. Kara 1.0 would have been frightened about things we're encountering...and definitely would have tried to control the direction of my life, all the while trying to look collected and calm.

Kara 2.0 IS calm! In my heart, God is calming the worries & fears that might try to creep in, and is teaching me about letting him work things out in life. He keeps showing me time and again that he loves me so fiercely, and cares about all the big and small things. To heap on more blessings, he's planted so many people in my life who love me unconditionally...and that TRULY isn't an exaggeration. You never understand how deep the love runs within a family until you get a chance to test that love. (shoutout to all of you, you know who you are, who are holding us up with your prayer and unwavering love for us :)

Anyway, I don't mean to be vague, but this is a public blog after all! I wanted to give a fair account of who I am as of late, without airing all by bizniz :)

Life is about to get ca-razy, with this little peanut gearing up to make an appearance soon. At the rate I'm blogging, he'll be here next time you hear from me.

But no! My sisn'law turned me onto this fun thing, and I hope to do it:

so stay tuned later on for [hopefully] my first picture of the june photo challenge.

in the mean time, here's a quick shot of me at...I wanna say...28 weeks? Almost three weeks ago, zoinks. I've only gotten bigger since this was taken!

I took this photo a few weeks ago, on Jon's and my trip down to Portland. This year has been unseasonally grey and wet, and it's easy to get discouraged about only having one day so far over 70 degrees. Again, no exaggeration. I don't lie, people.

BUT, living in a place with so much rain & sun going on simultaneously leads to lots of rainbows! They're pretty frequent here, and they always remind me of God and his promises. And they are so dang pretty.

and we spent memorial day weekend up in the San Juan islands, per the request of Brian Howe, and it being his birthday. So we crammed 10 people in a cabin directly on the water, and got our fill of sunshine and great company. I didnt take a whole lot of pictures, simply because I was soaking up the fun. It was such a needed getaway...here's a shot on the Puget Sound.

bye for now :)

best part of my week...

My church (Bethany Community Church up in Green Lake) is doing 40 days of prayer, where for every hour of every week, someone has committed to spending that time in focused prayer for anything that God has put upon their heart. Their family, our city, the world...anything. To give structure to this effort, people are encouraged to go online and sign up for an hour that works for them, and then meet at this designated prayer room near the church to pray.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided that I really wanted to be a part of this, so I looked at the online sign-up calendar, and was surprised to see all of the slots booked for the next two weeks. Seriously, every hour of every day....I'm talking 2, 3, 4 in the morning times. The outpouring of people wanting to give up time during the work week, or middle of the night, it was pretty crazy.

I barely nabbed an hour slot for a couple weeks out, on my day off and wrote it in my planner.

Time goes pretty quick nowadays, and before I knew it my number was up- today!

So I went to this prayer room, not knowing what to expect or what God would show me while I was there...

I knocked on the locked door, and a minute later a girl my age ran downstairs let me in, and left. She had been assigned the hour before me. I was now alone in this little chapel with arrows on the floor directing me upstairs.

A sign asked me to take my shoes off before entering the prayer room, and at the top of the stairs was a warm, reverent loft...with writing all over the walls, floor pillows, hymnals, notebooks, a desk with a community prayer journal, a fireplace, a place to light candles and kneel, kleenex boxes galore, a giant stained glass window.

what a special hour for me.

it went so fast, and when it was over and the next person was knocking on the door downstairs, I found myself wishing my time was longer. NO WONDER the calendar was booked for weeks out!

I know we don't need entire lofts with all the fixings to share quiet, alone time with God...but for that hour it was perfect. The peace I felt being alone with my creator, being able to sing or cry, or just be quiet...

and simultaneously feeling the presence and sanctity of all the prayers that had been offered there before I came. It was such a holy place.

I wont get all into it. I just want to say that I really want a room for this in my house someday. Is that weird? It could maybe be considered "tithing" ten percent of my house to the lord someday when we have the space. I'd love a little sanctuary that's set aside for anyone to be alone and cry out to God. Forget the whirlpool bathtub, for real. I'd much rather have this.

21.

twenty. holey smokes.

the rumors are true...

I'm gonna be a momma :)

blogger tells me I havent updated in over three months, and it isn't a coincidence that I'm almost exactly three months pregnant. talk about all-consuming! That little peanut up there has picked my life up off the track-of-life it was on, and set it down on a rollercoaster unlike anything I've ever experienced. Jon and I are beyond thrilled!! That pic is from Baby White's first photo shoot at about 9.5 weeks old... only three weeks later now, and it's doubled in size and starting to make itself known in my waistline. Haha, mercy.

I'll get back to that, though, just to get caught up on the last quarter year of our lives. Hawaii was an incredible experience for us, and flew by way too quickly. I'd do anything to be back in these lounge chairs with a pineapple granita in my hand...

here are the three roommates, taking our reality show of a life on location. We LOVED our stay at the Hyatt in Maui, soaking up pooltime, amazing food, frozen yogurt, sand and sun...sighhhh...

this is where you could find Jon & I almost all of the time, in the water with snorkel gear in tow.

a beach within walking distance from us, Black Rock. Home to free swimming sea turtles and tons of amazing fish and rays.

Shortly after returning home to snowy seattle, my sister Katie gave birth to her third kiddo, an amazing baby boy named Emmett. Our plans were to go out a month later for Christmas, so we had to share in the experience via Skype...I treasure these pictures of some of the first moments of Emmet's life!

The day before I discovered I was expecting, my dear friend Sayaka broke the news to me that she was moving away to Hood River, oregon. a blow, to be sure. the move happened fairly quickly, only two weeks later, so I soaked up as much Saya time as I could...

and to be really honest, it's been a hard transition going through such huge life changes without my tomodachi around, and at work every day. I miss her a lot.

Overall this pregnancy has been SO even keel, and such a blessing. I know it. I had approximately two weeks of morning sickness, and maybe a little longer of feeling fatigued and needing to nap all of the time, but all of that has pretty much gone away.

Gah, I love my husband so much. He has swooped in to save the day so often, when I'm lamenting having nothing to eat, am too tired to do anything (least of all the three weeks worth of laundry piling up), I can't count all the ways he's shown his love and patience for me, and love and excitement for the baby. In fact, this picture sums him up very well...

and me at 12 weeks...
I keep having to remind myself that there's a three-inch life in my tummy, I can't really wrap my mind around it! I know it's a little early for this, but a pair of maternity jeans I ordered on ebay arrived yesterday, and I've been living in them ever since :) it's the world's best kept secret how comfortable these things are!! I might not ever go back to buttons!

Sorry, I know I should say more profound thoughts about the miracle of life, but it's 10:21, which is 3 a.m. in non-pregnant speak. I need to get this mama to sleep.

Finally, I have lots and lots more pictures to share, but they're currently trapped in the best christmas present ever from my hubs...

It was an almost immediate purchase for him when he found out the news about the baby. Yes, the camera is as complicated as it looks, and I really need to carve out some time to figure out the wonders of it all :) Anyway, I'll get it hooked up, and get some more pictures up soon!

septober

My sister said it well... "once you're behind in blogging...the task of catching up is absolutely formidable. and as i wait it gets worse & worse. so i give up on catching up."

Yep, Katie, I plagiarized you :) By the way, check out her site if you're interested. She makes cute babies, and her posts always make me chuckle.

Heck yes, it's been a month and a half since I've checked in on here! Life has been busy!! We're lucky its all been good-business, but it makes me wonder how people with larger families than ours ever get anything done. It's just me, Jon, and our cat...no diapers to change or extra mouths to feed, and I somehow still wonder where all the minutes in a day disappear to.

I posted a few of these pictures on facebook, but Jon had some meetings to attend in new york city at the end of september, so I tagged along to play in the city. J & I got a couple of free days together to explore, and it was a really fun time for the two of us.

This girl is named Amy Grieve, and there was a season in my life, just after I dropped out of college, where she was one of my closest friends. Time passed, and we both went our own respective ways, literally all over the globe. This stage of life finds her living in new york, so we reconnected, and it was like four years hadnt even flown by since we'd seen each other last! It's such an amazing aspect of life, that years & distance can amount to worlds of change, and sometimes no change at all.

Our hat business....yeahhh, I am burned out on hats :) I knew it was inevitable, but I figured I'd ride the wave for as long as it lasted. I set my etsy store on vacation mode, am regretfully turning away orders, and taking a break from knitting. This is the last I hat I made for my friend Adrienne, and I can't wait to see it on her little bean, due next month!

this is a statue I walk past on my way to the bus stop in the mornings. It's completely dressed in origami cranes, and it cheers me up when I see it. It reminds me of the eclectic-ness of the city I live in, how people try to make art out of almost anything....and also, it reminds me of a classic Arrested Development Episode.

I participated in fall this year, I swear I did! I always have the best intentions of getting into holiday spirits, but time runs away from me every time, and I never seem to. So I preemptively carved a pumpkin a couple of weeks ago...

was so proud of the end result, but it rotted/molded so quickly...how disappointing! It's already resting at the bottom of a compost heap somewhere. Also went to a pumpkin patch with some friends...

My michigan/canadian friend Sandra (below) decided to move back to the midwest a few weeks ago, which is incredibly sad for anybody that knows her out here. You win this time, Michigan.

I got to spend three fun, consecutive evenings with her during her last week here. Her birthday at the cheesecake factory, pumpkin patch/IHOP run, and a bonfire at Golden Gardens. I'll miss you sandy-pants! Visit soon!!

My boss lady & I ran a booth for our spa at a GSBA expo downtown. I gave complimentary chair massages, while we both networked a bit. It wasnt the greatest turnout in the whole wide world, but it was good to get our name out, and always hilarious hanging with Leah...
Um, THESE were the tokens we chose to give away. Haha, Leah swears that there was nothing else in the entire catalog to buy, and she made a final-hour decision to order these rubber duckies. we were both a little mortified to give out such tacky keepsakes, but I can't describe to you how fast these little guys flew off the table. Did you know there are people out there who collect rubber duckies?? Haha.
We also gave away delicious cupcakes for Breast Cancer Awareness, and nobody wanted them. What is wrong with the world today?!

We havent been lucky in the way of weather this year. Had a fairly chilly & gray summer, and then fall hit fast & hard...with lots of rain and low temperatures. HOWEVER, the last week has been gorgeous....just lots of sun and crisp air. I'm really hoping this hangs on for a good while before we really slip beneath Seattle's cloud cover for the long winter.

(a few shots from my deck today...)

haha, roommate pranks. Jon was filling ice cube trays the other day, while I was nearby eating pickles straight from the jar. In a moment of (what we thought was) cleverness, we filled one, lone ice cube square with pickle juice....wondering which one of us would be the unlucky one to grab a handful of ice cubes that includes the pickle-cube. We also knew that Rachel uses ten times more ice than either of us (she also fills the trays 10x more than us...this was not a malicious trick, i promise!)

we have an equally as clever roommate, though, and Rachel caught it the second it passed her line of sight. Plan Foiled!

The three of us (Jon, me & Rachel) depart for Hawaii in three weeks from tomorrow!!! Ha, please dont think we have some weird relationship that we just can't get enough of each other. This trip has been planned for over a year, before we ever signed a lease together, and it was originally going to include family members and more friends....but in the end, the three of us are the only ones able to go this time.

Anyway, we have a big snorkel trip planned, our nights at the Hyatt Resort in maui booked, a day trip down the Hana Road, a luau.....I'm giddy with excitement! (p90x has resumed in force for the last 21 day stretch!)

and while I'm at it, let me say a couple of other things I'm exploding with excitement over...I GET A NEW NEPHEW IN A MONTH!!! Katie is nearly all ready to go with baby #3, and I can't wait to get out there over the holidays to kiss his sweet little face.

I'm so excited to go home for the holidays!!! It's looking like we'll be home ON christmas day this year, which is the most exciting thing for me. Can't wait for a white, snowy Christmas, with allllll my family and little babies around.

small possibility for a last-minute trip with sayaka to Boston for a Patriots game, more about that later if it actually happens :)

i'm a reading fiend lately. cranking through my list of classics that I've never read...and can I just say that Lord of the Flies gave me crazy dreams? Shiver. Not okay. Onto Catcher in the Rye...

Soccer playoffs start on Halloween! Our team has totally pulled it together this season, and we look really hot for playoffs. Should be exciting!

and since I'm sure no one else is as big of a nerd as I am, I wont mention that harry potter comes out in one month from today [AHHHH! ONE MONTH FROM TODAY!!!]